You don’t need to be Zeus in bed to make her see the heavens, but you can convince her you’re a decent Demi-god. But being a Titan in the sack is no easy feat. As any good Spartan knows, it takes skill, practice, and bravado to conquer all—it’s just about knowing how to wield your “sword.” So, if you want to reach Olympian status as a great lover, follow these expert tips to pleasure her like a pro. Just be careful— when you’re that good, girls who get pierced by Cupid’s rock-hard arrow can become uncontrollably addicted. Watch out!
The Warmup Session
Why do women need it?
Unless she’s just a tart who wants to be mercilessly banged, the art of seduction is key to being a good lover. We’re talking about erotic, passionate maneuvers—things that girls with pickier sexual appetites love. How you feed them is everything. The idea is to get her all fired up and excited by you.
If you simply rush to giving her the old in-out, she’ll have no time to heat up, and the results will be sub-par at best. Unless she’s one of those girls who can get off like a man, at the switch of a button, you’ll need to work harder for her pleasure. Think about it this way: would you shove a frozen turkey into an oven? No, you’d let it thaw first, then season it with love, then expose it to all that fiery hot goodness to get juiced up and yummy. Get the picture? Yes, the girl is the turkey.
But, nobody’s saying you have to do all that lovey-dovey stuff you see in the movies. That’s not the golden ticket. So, there’s no need to gaze in her eyes or any of that sappy jazz. But a few sensual kisses on the earlobe or even an old school massage does wonders. You can even use chocolate or caramel flavored massage oils to help get her in the mood—the ladies go nuts for this stuff.
How to get her started
Getting her off is part intuition and part skill. You should be able to naturally respond to her oohs and yeses while knowing how to satisfy her desires. When you find your groove, as you’re making out, tickle and rub your fingers over her body, focusing your attention along her inner thighs and outer labia (the larger lips).
There are actually tons of nerve endings around the labia that feel sensational for her when rubbed. “From the outermost to the innermost part, you get increasing nerve density and increasing sensation,” says lead study author Justine Schober, M.D., director of academic research at UPMC Hamot in Pennsylvania. Doing this will get her really hot and bothered from all the teasing, building up anticipation for what’s to come.
Related: The Best Sex Toys for Couples
Help her Focus on the Moment
It’s no secret that most girls are crazy. Beautiful, but crazy! They’ve got a million thoughts, questions and concerns running through their heads at once. And no, this whirlwind of crazy doesn’t stop for sex. It’s constant and stubborn, like a cuckoo stalker.
Unfortunately, these distractions can put a damper on her arousal level. Research shows that a woman is more likely to climax when the brain’s anxieties are literally shut off, explains Gloria G. Brame, Ph.D., author of The Truth About Sex.
So, how do you get her to focus? Surprisingly, it’s not too hard. You can actually use a few subtle physical cues to help redirect her attention. Gently hold her face in your palms as your kiss her, encouraging her to unwind and melt into the moment with you. Before you know it, the only thing she’ll notice are the sensations of your bodies jiving together… Aaaaand you’re back in the game!
The Power of Fingers
Guys with magic fingers make the best orgasm magicians. But to make a climax appear as your next trick, you’ll need to touch her properly. This means you should make every motion count—so no half-doing it, she needs the whole shebang!
Start by fiddling around her nether regions to see if she’s wet—if not, you didn’t do a good enough job warming her up. Back to square one, bro! If she seems ready, start by fondling her inner labia and the clit, until the area becomes nice moist and toasty. But don’t slip in your fingers yet! Women love to be teased. Once she seems like she’ll do anything for it (poor girl), you can slowly slide in for the kill, the G-spot take over!
The G-spot is located about 2-3 inches inside the vagina, at the front wall. To narrow in on the hotspot zone, enter with two fingers and your palm facing up. Press your fingertips against the middle of the vaginal wall and rub the area using a come-hither motion. “You’re seeking a spongy, puckered, or slightly ridged area, like the roof of your mouth,” explains Celeste Hirschman, assistant professor at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality.
Once you’re in there, continue to rub the area with a tender and sensual touch. Don’t just try to shove in all your digits and finger-bang her relentlessly because you saw it in some obscure porno—unless of course, she’s down for that kind of thing. Just ask first.
It can also be beneficial to use lube to make things wetter. The Adam & Eve Lube is super-slippery, providing slick strokes she’ll love! You can also use it with toys, condoms, and other items, maximizing every moment of fun.
Swivel Like You Mean It
Like any smooth operator, you’ve got to work on her pleasure like a skilled specialist. Even if you’ve got huge operating tools, sex still requires some level accuracy. To get right on target, when she’s underneath, you can grab her booty to lift her and pull her onto you. This maneuver will penetrate her at the best angle to hone in on the O zone. Looks like we’ve made a successful point of contact, soldier!
Doggy style also works wonders for the G- Spot. “From classic doggy style encourage her to slip down onto her elbows. This lifts and tilts her pelvis so that the end of your penis stimulates her G spot as you thrust,” advises relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr.
Cock rings can also step up your game, making an excellent wingman in the sack. Try the Lovehoney BASICS Vibrating Rabbit Cock Ring which features quivering rabbit ears to provide intense clitoral pleasure while you’re giving it to her (doubly explosive).
Now really, who needs Prince Charming when she’s got an expert G-Spot marksman on her radar?
Guys don’t get coined the name, “sex god” for nothing. Earn the title like a champ with these steamy tricks, overwhelming her with your Zeus-like lightning bolt… yes, show her who’s boss of the bed. Just know that we’re not responsible for any stage 9 clingers that may result from your new-found skills.